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Find a way to explain, as nicely as you can, that you’re not feeling the need to go forward, then say goodbye.“Just say that as much as you enjoyed getting to know her, you realized you two weren’t quite the match you’d hoped,” Davidson advises.So if she's being a little less forthcoming with personal information or unwilling to go somewhere more private, she’s exercising common sense.Let her, and also bear in mind that common sense works both ways—the aforementioned cautions all hold merit, for her as well as for [pagebreak] One of the biggest mistakes of online communication is thinking a relationship forged from over-sharing is the real deal.Joy Davidson, the stakes are generally higher for her.“Remember that getting ready for a first ‘meet-up’ takes as much time and effort for a woman as a real first date,” Davidson explains.

Frankie, the shy Brooklyn teenager at the center of Eliza Hittman’s “Beach Rats,” has a soft, low voice, a well-muscled physique and intense blue eyes that seem to contain worlds of private heartache.“You needn’t go so far as to spring for dinner, but a drink in a nice environment, or even lunch, will make a far better impression than coffee at the local Starbucks,” she says.“By treating her with respect, picking up the check, and in general being cool, you’ll win points.“She’ll spend time doing her hair, applying her makeup oh-so-perfectly, choosing the right outfit—all of which is easily an hour or more out of her day.You won’t be spending the same amount of prep time, so consider that her investment has already trumped yours, and make it worth her while.” Davidson suggests that you meet somewhere that you’d take a “real” first date, not just a “check-her-out” prospect.

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