I gave up summer dating
Like: Without that instant flash of attraction, I had to pay more attention to how I really felt in a man's presence: how he spoke, how he carried himself, the small things he did (or didn't do), and what those actions said about his partner potential.
The number of times a guy mentioned his family, whether he read actual books, and whether he offered to pay for my latte were all seemingly minor blips that divulged a lot during dates.
Then I realized that Evan—super-hot, emotionally remote—was just the most recent player in a pattern that had long dimmed my romantic prospects.
For as long as I could remember, I'd gone for a guy's hotness quotient above all else: over intelligence, kindness, humor, personality, everything.
Still gripped by the held-over high school neurosis of caring way, way too much what people thought of me, I believed that being able to call myself the girlfriend of some chiseled hottie would magically make me irresistible by osmosis.
I was 35 when I realized, thanks to Evan, that my long- held habit was getting me nowhere.
So I finally cut off contact with him and swore off men for a few months.So I was pleasantly surprised to find myself growing increasingly charmed, even smitten, by him over the course of a single night.Before this, I'd never really understood that chemistry can intensify as you get to know someone.So I was taken aback when he didn't call or text the next day or the next week.Though I hadn't envisioned Ben walking me down the aisle or anything similarly profound, I also couldn't remember the last time I'd felt so...disposable. Nick, a man with a goth-lite black goatee and stout build whom I met at a dive bar, wasn't my initial idea of dreamy.