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“I suspect that some of these people are in boring office jobs, just sitting at a desk with nothing better to do,” he says.“They just want pen pals, so they get into email exchanges with guys.More likely, though, she says the incessant emailing and excuses likely indicate having intimacy issues.“Some people are really just into the fantasy of a mate,” Irwin says.Regardless of whether you prefer to exchange three or 300 emails before meeting face-to-face, Irwin suggests setting some ground rules.“Have a sense of humor about it, but tell the person you have a policy of exchanging only so many emails, then you talk on the phone, then you set up a coffee date,” she stresses.ou save him as a “favorite,” and he sends you a wink.After that, a string of emails follow, each more enticing and engaging than the next.

“I found that endless emailing was ridiculous, because there’s no way you can predict chemistry in person based on your shared chemistry online,” Schlosberg says.That was enough to figure out whether someone was worth meeting or not.” But Stephanie W., a 51-year-old marketing company executive from Dallas, TX, believes the emails have to be substantive to take things any further.“The quality of the email definitely counts,” she says.They don’t have to deal with their own sexual fears or admit any of their deep, dark secrets.” A person who relentlessly pursues you online but never seals the deal in person may also be married or involved with someone else, Irwin warns.“It could be someone who’s bored in a relationship and doesn’t know how to recapture that honeymoon phase, so he or she is constantly reaching out and enjoying the fantasy of being with someone else,” she says.

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