Irish dating traditions
Oscar Wilde ED NOTE: Mr Richard Bentley visited our site and noticed that we have incorrectly attributed the entire quote above to Oscar. Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits.
The second line should actually be attributed to Samuel Johnson who either said it or wrote it 100 years earlier! He was with Oscar when the latter praised a clever turn of phrase by saying "I wish I had said that." Mr Whistler responded, "You will, Oscar, you will." Bernard Shaw is an excellent man; he has not an enemy in the world, and none of his friends like him. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch.
He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. George Bernard Shaw Then theres the Irishman on the construction site who was asked if he knows the difference between a joist and a girder.
Well, sure anyone would know that, he replies.
On one occasion he told his audience that "the cup of Ireland's misery has been overflowing for centuries and is not yet half full." Joining that remarkable cup is this spectacularly mixed metaphor, also by Roche: "All along the untrodden paths of the future, I can see the footprints of an unseen hand." Sign on a Kinsale shop: Out for lunch. They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. (Excerpted from an Irish mother's letter to her son) Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick.
Samuel Beckett Sign on a farm-house gate: Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. Sign on an Irish gate: The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. "Because," said Curran, "you would have the keys of heaven, and could let me in." "It would be better for you," said O'Leary, "that I had the keys of the other place, for then I could let you out." From W. Le Fanu's "70 Years of Irish Life," 1896 Sir Boyle Roche MP was the Member for Tralee, County Kerry, in the Irish House of Commons in the latter part of the 18th century.
Anonymous Irish verse, circa 1790 Rose Mc Gowan remembers asking Peter O'Toole if there were millions of girls chasing him around the planet after he did Lawrence of Arabia, and he said, "My dear girl, I didn't need movies to do that." A garda recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?
" He said, "Call for reinforcements." "My way of joking is to tell the truth.
it's the funniest joke in the world." George Bernard Shaw.
But there are advantages to being elected President. Flann O'Brien "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. O'Rourke A limerick packs laughs anatomical Into space that is quite economical.
The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. That is his.' Oscar Wilde As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh." Conan O'Brien Never serve oysters in a month that has no paycheck in it. But the good ones I've seen So seldom are clean And the clean ones so seldom are comical. George and his lance, Who killed old heathenish dragon.
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Oscar Wilde There was an old fellow at Trinity Who solved the square root of infinity.